home sweet home

I stepped in there, taking in the refreshing salty breeze that gently kissed my cheeks. A welcome change; a secret place; a sweet escape..you name it and it was that. i walked, dazed and mesmerized by the breathtaking beauty..so serene..so tranquil..i could hear nothing but my own ragged breath..i wrapped my arms around myself, embracing, a slow smile breaking through my lips..i lowered myself onto the fresh silky green tuft..bent forward to inhale the sweet fragrance of the white roses that surrounded me..i lay there..hands behind my head,staring at the pearl blue sky..a single white dove winked at me from high above, while the cool breeze tickled my skin and soft tides kissed at my feet..i closed my eyes..



bliss..



bliss..



bliss..




"Settling in then" my eyes fluttered open, half annoyed half curious, in answer to the sweet soothing voice..the flowers smiled at me, swaying their graceful white heads. "of course" i smiled back, already instep with their dance. I looked down at myself,i looked like them.Dressed in a white flowing gown;a garland of sweet flowers adorned my head..I caught my reflection on the crystal blue water, i looked beautiful. I swirled.The wind singing at my ears, the waters slashing harmoniously on the glassy pebbles..i whirled around, feeling euphoric..ecstatic..The flowers whirled with me..i laughed..it was musical..i walked gently..wanting to memorise every bit of everything i saw..i continued for moments..long blissful moments..my feet hit on something;the first awakenings of pain..It felt oddly foreign..i looked down..something gold flashed before my eyes..i bent to get a closer look..


A lamp!


Just like the one in Aladdin's. I picked it up excitement and curiosity accelarating my heat beat..I rubbed my palm on the side, it was worth a try..All i saw was smoke..blue green gold smoke..




POP!!!!


"Greetings me fair lady"



I threw the lamp and backed away. There he was..A real gene...he grinned down at me, flashing his big white teeth..My fear overtaken by the amazment of all that mythical splendour i was seeing..magnificent he was..finally finding my voice,



"your Aladdin's gene!!are you not?"



" oh my fair maiden, do not speak of him.." he continued looking offended.



"it only insults my powers to be compared to him. He, as you wish to know, is a distant cousin."


i nodded, dazed..Nothing really registered.



" speaking of my powers,at last I'M FREEEEEEEEE!!!!! he boomed


"you my fair pretty lady set me free..i must admit i was getting bored with the lamp..high time it happened after 3000 years..and for releasing me i shall grant my fair lady anything her heart desires "


"oh u mean i like get three wishes??!"


"noo no no no no," he wagged his fat finger at me.



"not three..ask away me lady, to your heart's content..only after you are content would i be free to leave.."


"hmm..well, so you'll give me anything i ask..anything??"


"ask away me lady..Will happen at the zap of me fingers"


"zap zap zap zap!"


"aha, hear me out first..by the way, if you've been spending the last 3000 years in that lamp, u think you could give me what i want??..things have really changed around here you see.. LIKE men no longer take daggers into their hearts if their lady love happens to die..they simply find another girl or worse another man. and thats prolly the beginning of the list"



"Alas, me lady! my powers are beyond your assessment..ask away!" he sighed



"As for how you humans behave,I could never comprehend 3000 years ago.. and i have no intention of doing so now. Ignorance is bliss me fair maiden!"



" oh Mr gene, ive wished like a million times that someone would grant me three wishes..now that i doooo have it im quite clueless!"


"uuuuuuuumans" he muttured


pretending to not have heard him, i continued..


" so you think you can make us all EITHER white or black? EITHER rich or poor?


could you stop all wars, conflicts and genocide?


would you put an end to hatred, tyranny, terrorism and abuse??



can you find a mum n dad for every orphan out there?

could you mend broken hearts? could you give them their love?

could you make the blind see and the crippled walk?

could you turn back time and make it stop?

could you stop death? could you bring lives back?

could you make dreams come true?

could you atleast give me hope?

could there be one faith, one colour and one shape?

could you make us content? no want, no greed, no anger, no pain, no hurt, no loss??

could you make us all happy and ONE?

im done with the tears gene..

could just please make me smile??


i looked up at the gene, gazing into his bright blue eyes-searching, hopefull.



He looked pained..his smile no longer promising;actually he was'nt smiling at all..


"oh my poor fair maiden, i pray to thee.


Please dont set me free"


POP!!!


blue green gold smoke again..this time the smoke winding into the lamp..


I looked down at the lamp,the following words appeared on it:


"HOME SWEET HOME"

I smiled

It was time for me to return home too..i looked back at the flowers, they waved at me..they looked so calm. I inhaled the intoxicating sweet fragrance that hung in the air around me..it filled me up with hope..maybe strength as well..


"i'll be back again.." i told them

"when i need to breath"

The tiny specs girl

Im seated here, the music on full blast on my headphones. I'm hardly listning to the lyrics. I just need the sound-a getaway.I need the music to drown the loudness of this voice that keeps playing on my head. Listning to it gets me no where and i find myself thinking and thinking just to end up where i started..messed up in genral. But again who isnt messed up these days? our cricket team's one classic example.


Anyways my 19th century VDU seems to be finally showing signs of ageing and that explains the delay in the posts. I need to chuck the thing out and get a new one, but ofcourse as always im brokeee!!!!!!!!!!! ive this 'magic' wallet, quite contrary to being full of bucks, evrytime i put my money into it, it seems to suck it up faster than the black hole. Recesssionnnnn sure is here!


Was in for quite a shocker earlier this week..my besty texts me up around 10 at nite to tell me she was going to get engaged. i checked the date to see if it was the first of april..realizing that we just stepped into 2009 i called her up. It was for real. She wasnt pulling my leg. I was sooo errr confused..I know you think im being paranoid and stupid but i dont know..azee just cant get engaged like that.i mean she'd have to marry eventually if so rite?? thats the problem, i cant imagine azee married!

Its not like ive the most boring life on earth you know.I just try to get hold of the whole rollercoastric style of it and whoaaa im in for yet another shocker..at first i was just completly shocked..i mean azee just cant get engaged because she has to get married then! and i just couldnt imagine her married..my deceitful dramtic mind was already conjuring mental images of azee walking down an aisle with macho-kinda guy and then an image of a tiny azee calling me aunty. darn! it was quite an ordeal that day and i remember shaking it all off my head as soon as the images had formed.

I know u dont understand why im freaking out soo much..here's the titbit. Its an arranged marriage.So it just worked out quite suddnly. i knew it was bound to happen sooner or later but i guess never expected it to be this soon! and i guess im scared..you knw worried..i was never in for an arranged marrige..i mean i really wanted to get to know the person i was going to eventually tie a knot with..i wanted the same for azee..felt she should get to know this guy she was going to spend her entire life time with. But she's real conservative, so she's all cool with the arranged marriage thingy and from what ive heard soo far, this guy- Miffy, sounds great. so alls good..ive kept my fingers crossed anyway..


Feels weird to think she'd be getting married and all dat..i just want this to be perfect for her..because she's this girl with an amazing heart..she just simply cares n cares n cares about evryone..pretty much like mother theresa, you know the too good to be true kind. hehe. thats what i like the best about her. i mean to think of it, its this thing we used to share in common..After a number of umm mishaps ive learnt that u simply cannot be that way with evryone..its a cruel world out there..if u just happen to care too much about people, they just tend to take you for granted, use you and den they are done..and u just hang in their regretting and taking all the shitty consequences that follow..ive been through it and it hurt like hell..i just dont want azee to go throught all that.


Its sweet to think of how we became best buds.I remember being not very happy about my 6th year in school because we were burdened with the unwelcome news of the two parallel grade five clases (5M and 5H) were to be combined for the following school year. Azee was in 5M and me in 5H and i simply hated her class. I wouldnt get along very well with anyone in dat class bec i thought they were all pretty stuck up.Initially i was very subtle with azee because she was always kind and nice to evryone..But the fact that she belononged to the M class was enough for me to cut her off my i like you list.

Anyways the claseses were merged but we separated ourselves within the class; we sat on two sides of the class room. Our girls wouldn talk much with them and likewise..This continued for like a month or so but soon we were warming up to their presence..And one day- i rem that day soo wel..It was a free period or sumthing and i was writing sumthing on my book. The girl who sits next to me had left school so the chair remained empty.

"Can i sit here"

i luked up and saw azee, peering at me throught her specs..i smiled.

"Sure"

and she sat..i remember, distinctly, seeing friends whispering to each other.It was quite a brave thing to do, because her friends obviously didnt approve with what she had just done. and we sat there in silence for a few minutes. i continued with my work.

"do u have a best frind?" she asked

i looked at her, smiled and said "no"


Silence again. I went back to what i was doing.


"um ok, can we be best frinds???"

i looked up at her. She looked very excited and i smiled back at her, equally excited. The idea seemed good and i liked her.

"Allright then. Lets be best friends"

And we were and stil are!

hehe..we've laughed about it countlesst times..it all seems stupid and sweet now..but im grateful it happened..my life wouldnt have been the same without the tiny specs girl in it..she's been the best friend ever,even if ive been stupid and moronic enought to hurt her. Along the years we even lost touch because of my stupidity..but she never gave up on me..She made it a point to keep in touch and eventually she helped break the ice and forgave me for hurting her..and nothing has chnged since..


And Azee, if your reading, your about to make the biggest transition of your life and i just want you to know that il always be here for you..to celebrate the triumphant moments and to assure you we screwed up in not soo triumphant ones. Just continue to be the angel you are. Its hard not to love you and girl, ur gona win Miffy's heart in a jiffy. And hey, You rock, your my besty ne. hehe

JAM TREAAAAAAAT..UrrghH!!!!

wow..been a while since i wrote something ne..and it sure feels good to be back in here. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttsszzzzzzzzzz uppppppppppppp everyone???hehe wel wel wel, one more exam to go tom and im done for good!

i woke up at 4 in the morning to the sound of my stomach growling (i skipped dinner last night bec i was waaaaaaay too lazy to eat). I'm serious, i was extremely hungry i considered eating my sister who was snoring her head off..i took one look at her, mouth half open and breath like my old neighbour's 19th century car..I decided she wouldn't make a delectable meal. so i crept outa bed and tiptoed to the kitchen..

i entered the kitchen to find the work tables wiped spotless and the dishes all done..the usual site. my mom goes psycho clean when it comes to cleaning the kitchen after all the hassle n bustle with the days cooking..so i walked towards the next best option-the refrigerator.

i yanked it open, only to find it empty except for a jar of jam, a few eggs, yeast and some other not instantly edible stuff. my stomach started growling all over again.."fine, waiiiiiit..IL eat something" (i talk to myself very often, um in private that is) and with no option left and quite appalled about what i was going to do, i picked the jam jar got my self a spoon, plunged it into the jam and took a whole spoonful in..i mean really it was completely disgusting, thinking of it now, but i was just too darn hungry!! i think i went for three spoonfuls and i was done..disgusting as it maybe, it did the trick..you just cant eat too much of a sweet thing rite..i gulped up a huge glass of water and went back to sleep..not a very healthy routine,but hey all that studying just gets me..i was exhausted!!

i woke up n found myself rolling into the morning and i dragged myself into the staff room. its just too tiring these days with all the practising and all that..the prize day is just around the corner and all that..and i just have to scream my head off to get the girls ( who have turned extremely clumsy for some reason) in order.well after an awful hour or so of rehearsals i went to the staff room for the break and was greeted with GG's toothy smile. i smiled back, my spirits lifting a little as she handed me my tea..i thanked her and took my seat..dropped my head on the desk and took a few deep relaxing breaths..i placed the hot mug on my forehead, the heat calming me down..(I'm real weird rite??)

Nadi was sitting next to me. i lifted my head up and sipped my tea in silence, listening to the animated conversation around me and returning an occasional smile which Miss mini (the math teacher) shoots at me quite often. some how the conversation, which is always pretty diverse hit on a very um embarrassingly popular topic..err, very politely put a questionable,weird act which "married" members of the opposite sex engage in..only to result in often dramatic consequences..like teachers running to the bathroom in the morning, and coming back looking exhausted and everyone's asking her, "is its that??" whats really embarrassing is that, most of the teachers there are people who happened to have taught me..i could never in my rite mind imagine dem urrr..in the picture that they seem to paint..and i don't know why its just soo embarrassing..i find myself blushing at the detailed reports I'm often forced to hear..

teachers are weird creatures..i mean most of them act like they suffer from some split personality disorder..they teach with such perfection and poise and off the class room they are (most of them) reckless and err..wild..hehe.nevertheless I'm quite used to it now and ive begun to see teachers as normal people..(even if they once taught me) and hey about the stuff i have to hear, a little extra knowledge wont hurt rite..hehe

PS: hw do u like my new play list? husky did the whole computer part of it. which of course means he Can log into my account..so if 'I' write something that sounds a little 'off ' or not quite like me..u now know who did it. beeeeee warned. hehe

Life's just a Vanity fair

its one of those days, you sulk around feeling very, umm, morbid..life just has to be soo cantankerous sometimes..i woke up, screaming my head off ..more distinctly i woke up screaming " DAD..DAD.." i looked around, panicking with the second, only to see my sister looking up at me like i was demented or something. " what??" she snapped..i pulled off the sheets fast, literally throwing her off bed in the process and stormed into my parents room without bothering to knock..there stood my dad, combing his hair, all ready to go to work..he looked a me confused and i just stared back...and then i started crying (really..more like bawling..)and literally "breathing" at the same time..

i could tell it really alarmed my parents and i was pretty sure it was not because of how i looked when i wake up; typically a train wreck.. bec my dad immediately got to my side and made me sit down before he asked me what's wrong..i sat there crying like an idiot...my mom got hold of my arm and started asking me the same thing..she was starting to panic now..my sis then broke into the room, looking very grumpy and annoyed." whats with her??she woke up screaming Dad Dad"..i literally heard my mom breath out .." u had a bad dream??" she asked, her voice softening and i nodded.." silly girl"..my dad started laughing and i started crying harder..i was feeling stupid but i just couldn't stop crying..

my dad kinda stroked my head and hugged me and it was only then i kinda started to calm down..he left for work and i was sitting there like for an hour, still crying and trying to forget the vivid flashes that kept coming back to me..what was the dream about? i heard my mom ask.."nothing" and i went back to my room feeling stupid and scared..

i then called husky up..he sounds real good in the morning..exceptionally good..it normally cheers me up..but even his gorgeous hello didn't measure up today..the moment i started talking he went "why angel, what happened" and i repeated everything that had happened and before i knew it i was crying again..i know, I'm soo stupid.but husky's very used to my tantrums..he coolly coaxed me to stop crying, assuring me that dad was alright..he had this you-know-you-sound-like-a-kiddo-and-i-think-its-cute tone in his voice..and then he sang to me as well..some song called love bug..it really does wonders on me..when he sings i mean..

The day just went on as "emphatically" as it had started..the morbid feeling just not going away..is there really any fairness in this world? you just don't seem to get what u deserve..its one of those days which makes you feel like happiness is a long lost myth..and you just want to crawl back to bed and sleep like you never had awaken..life never is fair sometimes is it? its like this messy vanity fair, u just cant seem to settle for what you get, either because there is always something better or something undone out there..either you try to move on from a haunting past or deal with some unbearable loss..life just finds a way to kick it all back at you..and there u are, helpless and distraught, left to pick the pieces up all over again..

PS: ive got my exams lined up this week..so to those who do take time off to stop in at reality chek, posts may not be regular til the 23rd..wish me luck! c ya around...

weird creatures

ahh..no school today:) me on leaveeeeeee...study leave actually.hehe..and im sitting here blogging..but hey, i was up studing til 4 am and ma dad woke me up at eight, just when i was trying to solve a circular motion sum i was dreaming about. pathetic i know..but it happens to me when i fall asleep after studing..ive been getting pretty weird dreams lately..studying sure Can be injurious to health.

its 12 am now, and seems like prince charming is still snoozing..(il call him husky hence..prince charming is way too long)..no miss calls, no text, no nothing..i just dont understand this thing with guys..back during the "prehistoric era" when i was being wooed, id see at least 5-10 missed calls whn i wake up..and two or three long lovy dovy texts, dat would put romeo to shame..and in those rare times, when i do wake up in the middle of the night i see dem, and go "awwwww" and call him and he answers in his sleepy ive -missed -you voice.


hmmm those were the days..things stared taking a drastic turn ever since i pledged my undying love..no lonng love dovy texts(except the occasional ones after an argument or if mr romeo gets into a mood),no missed calls and when i do wake up in the middle of the night and happen to give him a call, he now answers in his why-arnt-you-asleep voice or he cuts the phone!!!!!!!.And when i do confront him in the morning, often ready to bite his head off, he goes " u called angel?? really?? I did dat?? nooo..im soo sorry angel..i was soo sleeepy.." grrrrr...see that's the thing with guys, everything they do is as small as their mental capacity. all dey need is to know is if the girl is as serious as they are, and from that day onwards, they take the reigns..and its just no use warning you girls out there, bec these treacherous creatures have their own way of finding their not soo blocked roads to your hearts.. they are like the common cold virus, you just cant find a lasting cure. gosh, the studying really has gotten me..


But again, not that things are not nice anymore..he always treats me like i am the only girl alive :) (at least when he is not playing pool or doing something on his laptop or hanging out with his "ingenious" friends) But i really cant complain, because its seems like we've actually grown up together..he understands me, i understand him and there is no need for assurances anymore..but there are "prehistoric things"that i do miss on and off.


Ive very weird men in my life. A dad who wakes everyone in the house up, when he clears his throat in the morning. and i happen to get a very good dose of the appalling grunt or whatever sound dat is, as my bathroom connects my parents room and my room.


then there is husky who has his own stroke of weirdness..a lot of it actually..one being me having to force him in an hour long call, to make him get under a shower or clean his room..and we all know men are not the most hygienic creatures on earth.

and then there is my brother..the little teaks just 5, and god the things iv to put up with. since he started walking we had to put the TV up on the wall (bec he happened to smash the screen of one with a broom) , we had to constantly change or re-cushion the couches and remove all vases and flower pots inside the house. and quite recently he's started raiding my room..sometimes id step into my once tidy room, only to see handbags, slippers, hairsprays, and books thrown all over the place..and i get into this rage and hunt around the house, with a very noble intention of teaching him a lesson.. i find him either curled up sleeping or smiling brightly at me, both of which puts me off guard..i find my self smiling at him and hugging him and giving him a big wet kiss on the cheek, which he never forgets to wipe. and then i go back to my room and start cleaning all over again.

my closet is already ruined.. i caught him spraying ma hair spray on it..and seems like it has reacted with the wood leaving indelible marks on it..and i just cant make out what he seems to have written.

my closet, after my brother worked on it..


And now, his latest mission happens to be wanting to get his hands on my little soft toy collection, dat i keep INSIDE my closet for two reasons.

1) my mom is perfectly unable to walk pass a soft toy without having to throw it or give it away bec she things im too old for them.

2)Ive to keep it in my closet and hence far far away from me the places i typically inhabit for long periods of time, like my bed, on husky's orders bec he thinks they initiate my wheezing (which i get quite occasionally). He also made me give away all of my huge teddy bears, which was quite heartbreaking..

:) from left to right : dats husky (the teddy with orange legs..he's my favourite and the cutest.), teeger on top of him, then its timmy the doggy, tweety, and the bunny family. cute na?? i had soo many of them, but now ive only 8 left:( Just this morning i recovered timmy from the top of my closet after my brother got hold of him and threw him up there.

anyways id better get going now..I've to get back to studing..grrrrrrrrr...i just hate having to do it...i cant wait til the 29th, when it will all finally be over and i can start breathing again..c ya around.