Life's just a Vanity fair

its one of those days, you sulk around feeling very, umm, morbid..life just has to be soo cantankerous sometimes..i woke up, screaming my head off ..more distinctly i woke up screaming " DAD..DAD.." i looked around, panicking with the second, only to see my sister looking up at me like i was demented or something. " what??" she snapped..i pulled off the sheets fast, literally throwing her off bed in the process and stormed into my parents room without bothering to knock..there stood my dad, combing his hair, all ready to go to work..he looked a me confused and i just stared back...and then i started crying (really..more like bawling..)and literally "breathing" at the same time..

i could tell it really alarmed my parents and i was pretty sure it was not because of how i looked when i wake up; typically a train wreck.. bec my dad immediately got to my side and made me sit down before he asked me what's wrong..i sat there crying like an idiot...my mom got hold of my arm and started asking me the same thing..she was starting to panic now..my sis then broke into the room, looking very grumpy and annoyed." whats with her??she woke up screaming Dad Dad"..i literally heard my mom breath out .." u had a bad dream??" she asked, her voice softening and i nodded.." silly girl"..my dad started laughing and i started crying harder..i was feeling stupid but i just couldn't stop crying..

my dad kinda stroked my head and hugged me and it was only then i kinda started to calm down..he left for work and i was sitting there like for an hour, still crying and trying to forget the vivid flashes that kept coming back to me..what was the dream about? i heard my mom ask.."nothing" and i went back to my room feeling stupid and scared..

i then called husky up..he sounds real good in the morning..exceptionally good..it normally cheers me up..but even his gorgeous hello didn't measure up today..the moment i started talking he went "why angel, what happened" and i repeated everything that had happened and before i knew it i was crying again..i know, I'm soo stupid.but husky's very used to my tantrums..he coolly coaxed me to stop crying, assuring me that dad was alright..he had this you-know-you-sound-like-a-kiddo-and-i-think-its-cute tone in his voice..and then he sang to me as well..some song called love bug..it really does wonders on me..when he sings i mean..

The day just went on as "emphatically" as it had started..the morbid feeling just not going away..is there really any fairness in this world? you just don't seem to get what u deserve..its one of those days which makes you feel like happiness is a long lost myth..and you just want to crawl back to bed and sleep like you never had awaken..life never is fair sometimes is it? its like this messy vanity fair, u just cant seem to settle for what you get, either because there is always something better or something undone out there..either you try to move on from a haunting past or deal with some unbearable loss..life just finds a way to kick it all back at you..and there u are, helpless and distraught, left to pick the pieces up all over again..

PS: ive got my exams lined up this week..so to those who do take time off to stop in at reality chek, posts may not be regular til the 23rd..wish me luck! c ya around...